Running a Race of Love

This was the first time I had ever been exposed to the idea that there are “degrees” of loving self, others, and God. And honestly, I was happier in my ignorance. While reading through Bernard's comments on the first degree of love, I was feeling pretty confident. I can love myself for my own sake. That's not a problem. Whew, one down. I started tearing through to the next degree of love, loving God for my own sake. Originally at a sprint, energized by how great of a self-lover I am, I dropped down to a jog and started breathing heavy as I began considering loving God for my own sake. I kept moving on, even though I was really starting to labor at the thought that I am to love someone besides myself. I started feeling pretty convicted at the fact that I am pathetically out of shape in regards to loving someone else. How often do I really stop and acknowledge the provision of my loving Father? Hoping to break through the “runner's wall”, I carried myself onward into the third degree. Here, I confess, I collapsed to my knees in exhaustion. How am I to love this God for his sake? I cannot make it all the way to that fourth degree of love. But then something startled me as I finally stopped running; I was still moving forward. I had not been loving myself, nor trying to love the Lord, by my own power at all. My exertion was not the reason I was running forward. It was the very presence of God's love that was driving me forward into more intimate love with Him. There is only one way to love like Bernard's fourth degree. Christ must carry us in His Love.