Dying to the Lure of Christmas Lights

It's nearing Christmastime. I love Christmas, but could sometimes go without all of the capitalistic obnoxiousness. No, I don't want to buy every red and green thing you have to offer. Thanks, but no. I'm reminded, during this particular time of year, of how self-saturated I really am, however. I may not fall prey to all of the commercials and other consumer entrapments, but I do slip into a self-satisfaction 'mode' where Christmas all of a sudden becomes about me and my enjoyment of the holidays. It was especially evident to me, as Christmastime coincided with my reading of John Calvin's excerpt on self-denial coupled with the convicting passage in Philippians. One of Calvin's comments struck me, "Nothing is more difficult than to forsake all carnal thoughts, to subdue and renounce our false appetites, and to devote ourselves to God and to our brethren, and to live the life of angels in a world of corruption". Yeah, in a "world of corruption". I think John Calvin just described my American Christmas. Philippians 2:3-4 sings a similar tune, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others". Well, there goes any last shred of my Christmas staying intact. I have a whole holiday built around and for me. Yet, Paul doesn't see it that way. Neither does Calvin. Neither does our Lord. This Christmas, what a radical thing it would be to put off my own interests and desires, to seek after the good of others, all in the name of Jesus and for his glory alone. I am called to humble myself this Christmas, and every day to follow. I am to pursue my God in absolute humility, serving him by serving others.

A Softly Screaming Delight

To be honest, I was incredibly excited when I saw this blog assignment. I love few things more than contemplative times of isolation, especially when it involves being outside among trees and birds. Strolling through the woods is always a delight, but I'm never quiet or intentional; I'm usually out there for a time of relief and comfort. I look, but my thoughts do not dwell on the world around me. I am typically far away in thought. However, after being challenged by Annie Dillard's thoughts on seeing and allowing ourselves to become almost transformed by the world we perceive, I took a more intentional walk. This time I was determined to do more than look and meditate on my troubles and pressing thoughts. I was going to think on the things I saw out under those limbs and soft birdsongs.

I've always loved trees. So naturally, I went and walked through the woods. I desired something very simple, in my prayers with the Lord: allow me to see you in the midst of this. As I was walking, I discovered something that I had never really noticed before. My mind is often cluttered with thoughts, and so when I was there in the woods with my thoughts engaged on the world at my fingertips I started to see what I had previously glazed right over. My eyes would only perceive the beauty of the woods and my ears only the pleasant sounds of the winds or the birds. But as I looked closer, I began to see the imperfections that were just as real as the beauty. Dead, black trees stuck out of the ground like rusty nail heads. An engine rumbled lowly in the distance. But they existed just as truly as the pretty trees or the nicer sounds. Even this, O Lord, has been created for you and your glory. Ignoring the imperfections may seem desirable, but they exist for a reason. God has made them just like he has made the things that I enjoy more. How much more is this true of friends, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, roommates, who are all made in the image of God? Seeing the world is a convicting practice. But God be glorified, let us look at this world for what it really is, loving the Creator and thanking him for his good blessings.

Empowered by the Spirit

I know, in my mind, that the greatest commission we as believers have received from Christ is to go into the world that we live in and to bear witness to the name of Jesus for the purpose of God's glory. I know that. Yet, I can only feel pangs of guilt when I consider the devotion I have to this work--the most important work I could do. I will, when the guilt is too strong, justify my lack of obedience by claiming that other facets of my life are similar to bearing witness of the Gospel. I will say that my life is constantly a witness to Christ's glory, but I will be lying the whole time. I hesitate. I sometimes refuse. But often, I just simply feel like I don't have the power to fulfill this commission that Christ has called me into. It was interesting to read about Francis of Assisi and his abandonment to the Spirit's calling in his life. When his friend told him about the prophecy he heard from God as it pertained to St. Francis' calling, St. Francis was immediate in his obedience. He went into towns preaching the Gospel because he was empowered by the Spirit. I have that opportunity. I can be empowered by the Spirit. In fact, I believe that once the Spirit has equipped me, I will desire nothing but to fulfill the work he has before me. Echoing Watchman Nee, I know that once the Holy Spirit has been poured out on flesh, it" brings about a work of conviction of sin, repentance, and faith". To be effective in evangelism, the problem is not my efforts. My efforts are futile, provided they precede the power that can only come from the Holy Spirit. However, if God has called me to be obedience in evangelizing he has already equipped me sufficiently for that work. Their is now no excuse. God promises his Spirit of power. I must be diligent and faithful to heed his call and allow its effects to sweep over me immediately.

Not a Creative Title

It was much easier finding the rule that was most difficult for me. Well, to be more precise, it was easier finding the ruleS. I was able to narrow it down, however, to one rule of Taylor's observations, in particular, that I found to be the most challenging. That was the requirement to "take an active part in the praising of others, entertaining their good with delight". Yeah. That's not natural for me at all. I find it awkward praising others, especially because it feels like I'm not being completely honest with them. I can easily draw up a huge list of criticisms, but praising someone else requires me to put aside that 'list' and acknowledge the praiseworthy things in people. If there is a rule that I don't struggle with as much (and to be honest, I can only compare it to the difficulty of keeping the others rule, in order to keep a baseline. I struggle with all of these.) it would be the necessity to keep from comparing myself to others. I almost struggle with not considering this enough. Often, I don't even acknowledge the importance of making distinctions among people or myself. But I do see it as a blessing, because I know that it can be a real challenge for many of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

A Valuable Upbringing

With six children in our family and my mother being a stay-at-home mom, it was always a bit of a challenge making sure all of the bills were paid, the cars were road-worthy, that we were all well-clothed and adequately provided for. For a family that should have struggled, we were pretty well taken care of and I was never ashamed of our lifestyle. However, because my dad worked so hard all of the time, he was often tired and irritable when he came home. He wasn't interested in doing a lot of socializing or leaving the house. Instead, he stayed in the living and would fall asleep to the TV almost every night. This did not make our home very conducive to people coming over to visit in the off hours of the day. I wasn't very proud of how inhospitable our home was. I never had a very good explanation, either, for why we didn't very often have friends over. 

However, seeing how he had such a large impact on the social goings-on of our home life, and the negative results of his selfish actions, I am now able to see how I can have a much more positive influence on my future home. It motivates me, actually, to think that I can some day have that hospitable, welcoming home that I had always longed for as a child growing up. It's strange to be thankful for a poor home environment, but without it I wouldn't be as aware nor as motivated to strive for a warm and hospitable home. And what a great ministry an open-door home can be!

The Meditative Reader

I have always heard that "meditation" is an important discipline, but I never really practiced it. 'Praying Scripture' made sense, it just seemed less important than studying or delving into the deeper theological structures of a passage. Needless to say, in practicing this 'Scripture Praying' that Guyon was suggesting, I became quite convicted of my neglect for becoming intimate with God's Word. Studying and analyzing Scripture can easily become impersonal. But an attitude of impersonality breeds a hard heart that is arrogant and dependent on its own capabilities. My greatest struggle with reading 'prayerfuly' was not a lack of motivation for doing it; the hardest part was keeping myself from approaching the passage with an academic agenda. Ironically, I gravitated towards Matthew 6 and the Lord's Prayer as my focus passage. Just as I was learning to meditate on and read Scripture with intention and a humbled, prayerful heart, I was praying a passage about prayer unto my Father. Each verse had a new thought. As I would dwell on each thought, I began to realize that I was only dealing with the surface of the verse. How often I do this! Scripture has a depth that only the Living Word of God could boast. How sweet it is to feel the surface with one's hand, but how glorious still to dig and dig but to never find the rock bottom of the Truth of God's infinite wisdom!

Converted by a Good Work For Good Works

Conversion is a slimy little word. It's meaning seems obvious, until you try to grip it. Then you're left surprised and annoyed when it slips through your clenching fist like some sort of bronzy ooze. E. Stanley Jones touches on this tricky word, acknowledging its importance to the believer as well as its misconstrued application on the believer's walk. His initial thoughts on the topic of Conversion cut right to the heart of the issue at hand. Conversion, according to his writings, cannot exist without disciplines. This is commonly (and easily) understood. But he doesn't stop there. Speaking on disciplines, he explains that disciplines are not the root of conversion. Nothing we do will ever affect the transformation of our hearts. That change, that good saving work, is a gift of God that only he may give. Our response, the fruit of our conversion, is our disciplines. They are the fruit, not the root. I love that.

Conversion is not a choice that gets made. It's not a good work done by man that then, in turn, breeds more good works. Conversion is a gift from God which transfigures the entirety of a person; his heart's desires, his mind, his spirit, his actions, his all, is governed by this new good work. It is truthfully said that this concept is a "fuller, more biblical understanding". Christ was crucified, not as a formality, but as a necessity.